Ever since i was little i would always watch shows on TLC with my mother on the weekends in the morning. I remember sitting there watching shows about people with cancer or diseases...I was young so i didnt know any better. Every time i would get a stomach ache i would think oh great stomach cancer or a head ache oh great a tumor! My mom would just tell me to shut up.
I remember highschool i didnt struggle with it at all. I never thought anything about it, I was a happy 17 year old. When i moved here to joplin for college though it was a whole new ball park. I met my boyfriend Kellen when i first moved here and I was extremely happy. But what people didnt know is that i wasnt happy on the inside. I was constantly worrying about my health and always feeling like i was dying. I think i went to the doctor more then 12 times within the past two years. I was put on many different types of medications and many different types of tests were ran on me and I was fine. So i took the doctors word for it. I mean common they have professional diagnosis right? Wrong...I kept believing my theorys over theres..So thats when i told my mom about it and she just said i was healthy and nothing was wrong but that i should look up hypochondriac disorders online...so i did and i found out that those types of people always feel like there is something wrong with them... or in other words they do a self medical diagnosis on themselves. I remember always going online to look up symptoms of different types of cancers or diseases and thinking holy crap!! I have 2 or more of those symptoms! So of course i would freak out.. I would cry to my boyfriend telling him i was scared that i was dying and he would always just say well if your dying I am dying to to try and ease my mind a little bit.
When me and my boyfriend broke up things got worse..Now I am always stressed...I am not happy with my life at all..And i always have this constant pain in my head and neck..my aunt says its stress but i think that its either brain cancer or a tumor...it basically makes me sound crazy i know but i cant figure it out..I refuse to go back to the doctor again because i dont want to get more tests done...so i just try to stick it out!
Any ideas on what i could do would be much appreciated!
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