regrets.

When i lived in Columbia Missouri growing up i feel like i made way to many mistakes and i wish that i could honestly go back and fix a few of those things. I dont regret some of the mistakes i made because i probably wouldnt be where i am today. I have made a lot of mistakes that i want to go back and fix..but i cant now because life doesnt work that way unfortunately. There are things that i am scared to find out and i dont know what i would do if I found out something i didnt want to. I  for one just want to be able to not think about the regrets that i have made and try to just go on with my life now and make things turn out good for the rest of my life that i have to live.

worrying to much!

I feel like worrying about things to much has definitely taken its toll on my body. I feel like worrying about my health or worrying about school and money makes me think way to much. I would like to just grab like by the horns and just take every day how its supposed to go and just live my life with no regrets. Worrying to much will get you know where unfortunately. I think that my new goal in life is to just not think to much and try to live my life not thinking about things. I want to be able to just have one day in my life not thinking about things to much. Since we wont be around forever its best to just think things through before you do them for one.

When will life get easier?? What will it take for me to understand things better?

CHEATER!!!

According to the site jezebel updated on december 1st 2011

Rumor has it that last Friday night — or more technically, very early Saturday morning — Ashton 
Kutcher allegedly had sex with a 23-year-old woman in his room at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego. Ashton allegedly told this woman — allegedly named Sara Leal — that he and Demi Moore had separated, but had not yet made it public. Apparently this is Ashton's usual line. Allegedly! In any case, the woman has hired some lawyers in case Ashton comes after her. There's more about this in Star magazine, so expect additional details in Midweek Madness. By the by: September 24 marked Ashton and Demi's sixth wedding anniversary. This blonde lady should not be confused with the brunette lady, Brittney Jones, who claimed that Ashton "made love" to her on a couch.

So apparently ashton is a filthy cheater! what a JERKK!!! When it comes to cheating and being unfaithful in a marriage it just really ticks me off and makes me think twice about trusting people. I feel like if you think your going to get bored in a marriage then you shouldnt get married in the first place! When you make a promise to someone you are supposed to keep that promise not go and screw it all up by some nasty one night stand on a couch in a the hard rock..Ashton..you are a scum.

WORK and no play

I have come to the realization that all i do is work and go to school and OCCASIONALLY get time to have fun. I feel like my childhood kind of went away after i turned 17 that isnt necessarily a bad thing but luckily I still have a lot of time left in my life to make things better!

I work two jobs and they are a lot of fun and i have fun doing them and what not so when i get off all that i want to do is just sleep or just relax which is okay but i wish that i wasnt so beat that i could just go out and do something fun at least!

OH life i wish you were more kind to me sometimes.

christmas time

Christmas always brings around good feelings for me and my family!

Every year its the same tradition for me and my family: we always watch a christmas story and the national lampoons christmas vacation movies literally 20 times each. I can proudly say that i know all the words to both movies lol! Every christmas morning we wake up open presents and then have a big family lunch and dinner. The sad thing is that my family lives in columbia and i dont get to see them as much and thats a big thing for me because family wont always be there unfortunately!

Christmas will always be a big thing for me and I will always be a huge kid at heart!

Airplanes

I am DEATHLY AFRAID OF FLYING!!! They say theres more car crashes than there are airplanes but every time i get on that plane alone i feel like im going to crap my pants!!! I know it seems a little vulgar but holy crap they scare the $hit out of me.. I have to go fly to ATL in the next week and I am not looking forward to it. I wish my dad would have just bought me a a ticket with no stops but i guess thats the cheaper way to go.. He needs to not be a cheap skate when he knows i hate getting on those airplanes.

The only way to get over that fear though is to keep doing it and get it out of your system..If i am flying by myself i get so scared because if the plane goes down I'm going to die all alone and that sucks i would rather be on a plane and die with a loved one then by myself.... If that makes sense in a non selfish way.

Dying in a plane crash seems like a really crappy way to go..Burning to death which is how I'm sure it would go down is just a horrible way to die. Hmm maybe i am being a little melodramatic but i dont care i know a lot of people that are scared of flying. I'm sure i will get over it eventually but until then I'm probably just going to B**ch about it!

Thumb up my A$$

There is just about 4 weeks left of school if that maybe a little less...but either way I am ready for a freaking break. This semester i have caught myself being lazy and not giving my best effort so this month of a break will be just the treat for me to figure out what i need to do for MYSELF. I feel like i have just been sitting around with a thumb up my a$$ for the past few months..Damn reality check. I have found myself not going out and partying and being a typical college student which is...well GOOD. I am an old soul i feel like I am a 40 year old trapped in a 20 year olds body..I go to work every day and school and by the time I am done i just want to go to sleep...but I'm NOT TIRED..I feel like its an excuse maybe for me to just be lazy and do nothing.. maybe my boyfriend has a little something to do with it. Mark is 25 so hes a bit older than me and he doesnt drink or do anything hes a lazy butt so i feel like maybe I am starting to follow in his footsteps a little bit! Hmm I need a little bit of a reality check. Oh well SCHOOLS ALMOST OUT!!

thanksgiving awkwardness

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year...mainly because of all the food i get to endure!! This year is going to be a little different because i am flying to Atlanta to spend it with my dads side of the family..I'm not really that close with any of them so i feel like its going to be a little awkward and I'm not really looking forward to it. I  never had the best relationship with my father growing up because he kind of did the "I'm only 23 I'm not ready for a child thing". Now that I am older he has come around a lot more and we talk almost every week just about random stuff and he does a lot for me basically trying to make up for the wrong he did when i was little. I am a little nervous about Thanksgiving because I am meeting some peopl in my family that i have never met before and thats always a little nerve wrecking..thanksgiving is also my time to eat a CRAP ton of food and I feel like stuffing my face in front of a bunch of strangers is AWKWARD! sooo looks like i wont be eating that much. I'm sure to get rid of the awkwardness ill be drinkning a lot of wine..and probably start babbaling about stuff i shouldnt..but hey thats the fun of the holidays! :)

GRADES

AHHHH why are my grades sooo bad for this semester!!

I remember my first couple semesters in college i had a 3.5 GPA and i rememeber the awesome feeling that came over me when i saw those grades..but now this semester and last i dont know what was has been going on but i feel like i put a lot of effort in trying to get my grades good but for some reason i just dont have good grades for some reason...It is really stressing me out because i dont get bad grades..man life can suck some times! I know i am more than capible of getting really good grades so why isnt it happening???

Columbia

I am in Columbia MY HOME TOWN! i havnt been here in about 8 months and a visit to see my mom and brothers and sisters was WAY over due! I love coming here because i just get time to get away and see family and highschool friends..and to also escape the drama of joplin! When ever i end up coming here for the weekend i just get to relax and drink coffee with my mom. :) yum

I was a HUGE partier when i lived here back in the day and i guess some of my friends expect me to come back here and be my old self...when in all reality im nothing like i was when i live in como..Joplin changed me big time and for the better! I am very glad i got away from como for that reason because now im a lot more healthier and happier.

Como i do miss you and my family but everything else..is in the past.

Extreme home makeover!

So the other week i helped out with ty pennington and his crew....or should i say i helped out with the rest of the people from joplin build houses and get stuff together for those 7 families that were picked that lost their homes!

I felt so great helping out and giving back to the community and help build those homes for those people.
I was fortunately one of those people that didnt lose anything so i felt like it was my duty to go give back and make a difference in someones life! I feel like that was a life changing moment so now I am going to do a lot more community volunteering!

I feel like everyone should get out there and do something like that to give back to you community for the less fortunate!

hyprchondriac ( please read) I need a little help with this one.

Ever since i was little i would always watch shows on TLC with my mother on the weekends in the morning. I remember sitting there watching shows about people with cancer or diseases...I was young so i didnt know any better. Every time i would get a stomach ache i would think oh great stomach cancer or a head ache oh great a tumor! My mom would just tell me to shut up.

I remember highschool i didnt struggle with it at all. I never thought anything about it, I was a happy 17 year old. When i moved here to joplin for college though it was a whole new ball park. I met my boyfriend Kellen when i first moved here and I was extremely happy. But what people didnt know is that i wasnt happy on the inside. I was constantly worrying about my health and always feeling like i was dying. I think i went to the doctor more then 12 times within the past two years. I was put on many different types of medications and many different types of tests were ran on me and I was fine. So i took the doctors word for it. I mean common they have professional diagnosis right? Wrong...I kept believing my theorys over theres..So thats when i told my mom about it and she just said i was healthy and nothing was wrong but that i should look up hypochondriac disorders online...so i did and i found out that those types of people always feel like there is something wrong with them... or in other words they do a self medical diagnosis on themselves. I remember always going online to look up symptoms of  different types of cancers or diseases and thinking holy crap!! I have 2 or more of those symptoms! So of course i would freak out.. I would cry to my boyfriend telling him i was scared that i was dying and he would always just say well if your dying I am dying to to try and ease my mind a little bit.

When me and my boyfriend broke up things got worse..Now I am always stressed...I am not happy with my life at all..And i always have this constant pain in my head and neck..my aunt says its stress but i think that its either brain cancer or a tumor...it basically makes me sound crazy i know but i cant figure it out..I refuse to go back to the doctor again because i dont want to get more tests done...so i just try to stick it out!

Any ideas on what i could do would be much appreciated!

running out of things to say.

I feel like I am constantly running out of things to say..I read all my other classmates blogs and feel like they all have so much to say and always something interesting to say at that.

My goal for the next week when we type blogs is to come up with something really interesting to say! :)

Read my blogs next week and I am sure you wont be sorry ;)

life as we know it.

Why do i feel like life as we know it is changing more and more everyday?

I feel like life is a complicated puzzle that no one is ever going to figure out. Do we know where were going to be tomorrow? No, but we can always make our decisions how we want. Life isnt always going to be fair and i feel like everyone knows that.

My new out look on life is to basically stay POSITIVE and live life like there is NO tomorrow! I feel like everyone makes mistakes and we are going to continue to make those mistakes but our mistakes are what make us who we are!

All i ask is that everyone enjoy life and love it and live it the way that you want with no regrets.

down with the sickness

So i have been really sick lately and havnt been able to even get on my computer so my blog posts have been a little late :( unfortunately nothing interesting has happened in my life the past week since my last post. I have noticed though that a lot of people out there around campus or just around joplin itself are SICK! I dont know how i got my cold but i thought it was just allergies when i went to the doctor and found out i had walking pneumonia! They gave me a lot of antibiotics and I am feeling much better. I gave my cold to my boyfriend and aunt and they are both kicking me in the butt now because of it...common its not like i did it on purpose!!!

btw heres my intoduction!

I noticed that i started blogging but i never really got to introduce myself.

My name is Ryan Mckenzie Coupe I am a girl btw don't let the name fool you ha-ha! I am the blond in my profile picture btw. I am currently a junior here at Missouri southern. I have no idea what i am studying and you would think that after three years i would know by now. I work two jobs 1. I am a teller for great Southern bank off of range line 2. I am a waitress at goooood old rib crib out of both of those i would def. have to say that i like working at the bank a lot more! I have been there since last October so almost a year yey!! 

I am 20 years old..not children and not married I live my life everyday full of NO regret. Ever since the tornado hit and tore down most of the town and loved ones were lost I have a very positive outlook on life! Thats the way its supposed to be! 

I love meeting new ppl and making new friends. I am from Columbia Mo and i have lived here in Joplin for two years now. I have made a lot of good friends but am still looking forward to meeting more! 

relationships!

Why is it that the male Psyche thinks in a very odd way!

I have noticed that a lot of guys that i have dated have been a "my way of the highway type of guy". That is so selfish it seems to me. I dated a guy for two years and he was the love of my life...still is, but i broke up with him because i wanted to find something else something...different and DIFFERENT is definitely what i got...He was a psycho and got mad at me for the dumbest reasons ever..like going to a restaurant he would get mad. I have finally realized that maybe its time for me to just be by myself and do my own thing for a while. Breaking up with a guy for another guy always blows up in your face i highly do not recommend it. 

LIFE...what an unusual thing it can be   

Wishing

I am realllyyyy wishing that i could have more time on my plate..

I work not one but TWO jobs and go to school full time and working all the time is REALLY making me fall behind on my studies. I went to college simply to make my mom proud of me to be the first child of hers that actually graduates! So far I am doing a good job, BUT i am falling behind and it is really rough for me! :(

why?

Why is it that we have to take classes that are so pointless to our major?

I feel like schools are just trying to make money on making us spend a lot of money on classes we dont need!

It frustrates me. Maybe its because they just want us to have a good experience also! I will try to think positively and go off of that one! :)

Weekend

My weekend went by waaaaayyy to fast. I believe that maybe its because i worked every single day all day like i always do. I am scared I am  going to get behind on my studies due to this. Maybe its time i quit one of other jobs...hmmmm!

Soooo

So I have noticed that college comp two has been quite the challenge, BUT i love a challenge. Holly is extremely relaxed and i like that. My grade isn't the best as of now but there's still a lot more time to go!

:)

Well i have my first paper for my comp 102 class done, and now its on to the next one! I'm really hoping for a GOOD semester here!

Oct 13th I cannnnnnott wait because I am helping with the extreme makeover cast to help build 7 homes in 7 days! This is going to be a blast 

Ive noticed

Ive noticed that blogging has been very difficult for me and i dont know why!! AAHH but i am keeping up and hopefully getting better at it.

blogging?

This would just so happen to be my first blog ever!

I am pretty excited about it :) its interesting.

-Heres to a good school year!