Airplanes

I am DEATHLY AFRAID OF FLYING!!! They say theres more car crashes than there are airplanes but every time i get on that plane alone i feel like im going to crap my pants!!! I know it seems a little vulgar but holy crap they scare the $hit out of me.. I have to go fly to ATL in the next week and I am not looking forward to it. I wish my dad would have just bought me a a ticket with no stops but i guess thats the cheaper way to go.. He needs to not be a cheap skate when he knows i hate getting on those airplanes.

The only way to get over that fear though is to keep doing it and get it out of your system..If i am flying by myself i get so scared because if the plane goes down I'm going to die all alone and that sucks i would rather be on a plane and die with a loved one then by myself.... If that makes sense in a non selfish way.

Dying in a plane crash seems like a really crappy way to go..Burning to death which is how I'm sure it would go down is just a horrible way to die. Hmm maybe i am being a little melodramatic but i dont care i know a lot of people that are scared of flying. I'm sure i will get over it eventually but until then I'm probably just going to B**ch about it!

Thumb up my A$$

There is just about 4 weeks left of school if that maybe a little less...but either way I am ready for a freaking break. This semester i have caught myself being lazy and not giving my best effort so this month of a break will be just the treat for me to figure out what i need to do for MYSELF. I feel like i have just been sitting around with a thumb up my a$$ for the past few months..Damn reality check. I have found myself not going out and partying and being a typical college student which is...well GOOD. I am an old soul i feel like I am a 40 year old trapped in a 20 year olds body..I go to work every day and school and by the time I am done i just want to go to sleep...but I'm NOT TIRED..I feel like its an excuse maybe for me to just be lazy and do nothing.. maybe my boyfriend has a little something to do with it. Mark is 25 so hes a bit older than me and he doesnt drink or do anything hes a lazy butt so i feel like maybe I am starting to follow in his footsteps a little bit! Hmm I need a little bit of a reality check. Oh well SCHOOLS ALMOST OUT!!

thanksgiving awkwardness

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year...mainly because of all the food i get to endure!! This year is going to be a little different because i am flying to Atlanta to spend it with my dads side of the family..I'm not really that close with any of them so i feel like its going to be a little awkward and I'm not really looking forward to it. I  never had the best relationship with my father growing up because he kind of did the "I'm only 23 I'm not ready for a child thing". Now that I am older he has come around a lot more and we talk almost every week just about random stuff and he does a lot for me basically trying to make up for the wrong he did when i was little. I am a little nervous about Thanksgiving because I am meeting some peopl in my family that i have never met before and thats always a little nerve wrecking..thanksgiving is also my time to eat a CRAP ton of food and I feel like stuffing my face in front of a bunch of strangers is AWKWARD! sooo looks like i wont be eating that much. I'm sure to get rid of the awkwardness ill be drinkning a lot of wine..and probably start babbaling about stuff i shouldnt..but hey thats the fun of the holidays! :)

GRADES

AHHHH why are my grades sooo bad for this semester!!

I remember my first couple semesters in college i had a 3.5 GPA and i rememeber the awesome feeling that came over me when i saw those grades..but now this semester and last i dont know what was has been going on but i feel like i put a lot of effort in trying to get my grades good but for some reason i just dont have good grades for some reason...It is really stressing me out because i dont get bad grades..man life can suck some times! I know i am more than capible of getting really good grades so why isnt it happening???

Columbia

I am in Columbia MY HOME TOWN! i havnt been here in about 8 months and a visit to see my mom and brothers and sisters was WAY over due! I love coming here because i just get time to get away and see family and highschool friends..and to also escape the drama of joplin! When ever i end up coming here for the weekend i just get to relax and drink coffee with my mom. :) yum

I was a HUGE partier when i lived here back in the day and i guess some of my friends expect me to come back here and be my old self...when in all reality im nothing like i was when i live in como..Joplin changed me big time and for the better! I am very glad i got away from como for that reason because now im a lot more healthier and happier.

Como i do miss you and my family but everything else..is in the past.